Podcast: Wailing On These Hoes

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

"DeDeT, Why Can't I Find a Good Man?"

Maybe it's because you're out here in these streets with a search light in the daytime like you're looking for escaped convicts.

Literally COMBING the streets for a man isn't necessarily the tried and true method of successful courtship. Yes your man is out there somewhere but must you look for him EVERYWHERE? Can you not CHILL for a second and just breathe and enjoy YOUR life? It's like some of you hoes are always on the hunt--ALWAYS. You're lurking around every corner for some fresh meat. There is absolutely no stone that will not be thrown over to find someone to put a baby in you. Many of you don't even care if he happens to be on the arm of another woman when you see him. As soon as she turns her back, he's fair game. And the level of preparation that some of you hoes undergo borders on outlandishness. You can't step out of your door without a 3-hour hair, make-up and wardrobe session because you have to be as fly as humanly possible so that you will be sure to catch SOMEONE'S eye in ANY venue. It don't even take drag queens that long to get ready and they have to tuck for God's sake!

I say this with much love... GET A GRIP BITCH! The last thing you want to be in this day and age is THIRSTY and blatantly so. Don't think that by being unconscionably thorough, fate will reward your diligence. All that's gonna happen is that you will find some clown who can't wait to take full advantage of the duck you appear to be. Men can smell the desperation on you and while the good ones may pass your hungry ass up, a ratchet one will jump at the chance to take advantage of the fact that you might drink a cranberry and bleach cocktail if you have to endure one more lonely night. The kind of man who wants a desperate woman is the kind of man who wants to kick back while your simple ass goes to work and supports his Call of Duty habit. He is the kind of man who will not miss the opportunity to fuck your friend/sister/mother/niece/cousin/hair dresser/gynecologist/anything with a pussy. He is the kind of man that will have his extraneous, bad ass, illegitimate children running around your house, tearing your shit down and drinking all your damn juice. He is the kind of man that will not hesitate to Chris Brown a bitch because all your desperate ass is gonna do anyway is straight DROP those charges.

So... what have we learned today, girls? *PAUSE* Very good! A desperate bitch is a gullible bitch and a gullible bitch is roadkill.

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