If you've turned on a televison in the past 36 hours, you should already know to what that title refers. That's right, kids. The new season of "Glee" premiered last night!
But for real though... Eddie Long. That would sound like the name of a gay male stripper to the uninformed but alas--'tis the name of a venerated and widely respected religious figure. If the allegations that have been brought upon Senor Long have any merit, I would have to say that I'm not the least bit surprised. It seems that in the black church (especially in Atlanta), men on the downlow have found something of a safe haven, a place of refuge... a homoerotic breeding ground. The black church is where the undercover gay community goes to recruit. Where else could one find someone more deep in the closet than in the church? Where else are people more criticized, chastised, vilified and maligned for their lifestyle choices be they gay, promiscuous, unmarried with children or otherwise? In such heavily repressed conditions, why would anyone be shocked to find out that the sovereign leader of this widely misinformed flock would be the most "alternative" of them all? As the unquestioned leader of so many lost and wandering souls, he was in the best position of any to make his own religiously battered desires a reality and maybe facilitate some for others.
Unlike his Catholic counterparts, Long chose young men that were at least at the age of consent when he began their sordid sexcapades. The fact of which brings me to my next query: What is fish complainin' fuh anyway? Had that been ME and some dude is paying top dollar for that thang and I'm of age, why would I open my mouth and chop off the payloaded end of my rainbow? To hell with that. Makes me think that maybe Big Daddy Long started to get out of pocket or maybe one of these boys found a double rainbow with a much bigger pot of gold at the end. Takin' that Monica Lewinsky route huh? Be careful boys. That is indeed a slippery slope. But they have something that miss girl did not and that is a gay man of the cloth who has been so deep undercover that he has even been spewing anti-homosexual rhetoric. You can read about some of that below...
A trip right? But like my people always say, "Dem be da main ones." So yeah, these boys (now young men) who have allegedly had these sexual relationships with "Bishop" Long (CNN had the wherewithal to put the Bishop part of his title in quotation marks and I dug it so I bit it) might have quite a payday on their hands for revealing this fish in trade's clothing. Honestly though--how long did he think he could keep a lid on all this anyway?
But let me not assume right off the bat that he's guilty as sin just because of my vehement distrust of ANY man who claims to be a man of God but has enough tailored suits, expensive cars and Rolex watches for every church service of the calendar year. Maybe Daddy Long Stockings is the real victim here and these three plaintiffs are just a few fish that hate him because of his fiery anti-gay sentiments. Does that sound far fetched to ya'll? Because to me it makes perfect sense. After researching some of the things he's had to say about homosexuality, I would have a pretty bad taste in my mouth for him too if I were in the shoes of a gay youth that was trying desperately to cope with his own identity in the midst of so many social and religious stigmas. To that community, Eddie Long would be the equivalent to the Grand Wizard of the Klan in the black community. Is it that far-fetched to think that some of them might take drastic action in order to bring an end to his bigotry? Hate is contagious and that applies to every aspect of human life. Eddie Long may just be on his was to being undone by the hands of those he scorned so unmercifully...
Consider yourself read Long and Dandy.