"DeDeT, Why Can't I Find a Good Man?"

Maybe it's because the guidelines you follow to be considered the type of woman a "good man" would want all come from the Book of "Savage Life" As Told by Webbie and Boosie and The Gospel According to Lil' Kim (with all the words spoken by Biggie shown in red, of course).

Okay... I'll be the first to admit that I LOOOOOOOVE Kimberly Jones and "Savage Life" kinda went hard barring those more misogynistic tracks (i.e. "Come Here Bitch" "Give Me That" "Like That" "Gutta Bitch" "Gotta Show Me You Worth It") BUT (and that's a big "but") I can't see myself modeling myself after her or the kinds of women that Boosie and Webbie claim to crave. I know some of you hoes pride yourselves on being "Bad Bitches" who be "cookin and cleanin and cleaning and cookin... constantly douchin and cleanin her pussy" and all that other buck nekked bull shit but COME ON. Clearly the man has no idea how a woman works because a brizzle who is "constantly douchin and cleanin her pussy" will wind up with a nasty fungus/mold up there and that ain't EEEEEEEEEVEN what you want, ma. Hardly something that I think a man would look for in a woman. "Yeah, nigga that bitch moldy but she clean though." *Nigga please*

As evidenced by the vastly ignorant content being promoted through the lyrics of artists such as Boosie and Webbie, there are some men out there who are quite deluded when it comes to what a good woman looks like and how she is to be approached. That being said, ladies we should be the ones to SHOW them what a real good woman is through our actions, not succumb to their pigeonholed designs. Instead of thinking more highly of themselves, hoes out'chea are doing everything possible to prove their worth to these Negroes who are adrift in a sea of materialism and delusion. So now we have all kinds of "Bad Bitches" who keep their hair and nails done but can barely keep their lights on because they have multiple children and much drama for a cat who thinks the ideal woman is one who can manage that lifestyle while adequately stroking his ego for the duration. She sits around with her fellow "bad bitches" longing for the comforts of the club and lament about "these no good niggas" as the multitudes of unattended children scream, holler and run about at 12AM on a Tuesday night while he's out "stackin his paper" and bragging to all his equally jaded "rounds" who tout him for his ability to push product and pull hoes.

As for Lil' Kim... she's my GIRL. (Foxy was always my favorite though.) When "Get Money," "No Time," "I Got a Crush on You" and all those other cuts came out I was ON IT. At one point I know I was rapping "I Got A Crush on You" in my sleep, but I still knew the kind of brizzle that Kim was portraying in her lyrics was not the woman I wanted to become. I have noticed, however, that other women my age and some a little older have taken Kim's lyrics to practice with their varying colors and textures of hair, tawdry style of dress and general attitude about "ridin' fuh ya nigga." (Not as many appear to be bold enough to re-enact Kim's sexual proclivities though... scary hoes.) I understand that Lil' Kim was a "creation" of Biggie's design in many ways. Kim was the "ride or die" side piece that was all too happy in her place as long as she got her props from her nigga.

"I'ma throw shade if I can't be paid/Blow you up to ya girl like a Army grenade"

Her entire aura was one of a ghetto sexual fantasy to make her the quintessential black mistress. She'll roll the blunt, smoke ya, stroke ya and send you back home to your uppity high yella wife smiling from ear to ear. She'll load the clip and buss if she gotta. "Fuck the world. It's me n' you Big Poppa." Sure she'll make a fuss when her nigga looks like he favors wifey a little too much every now and again, but all he has to do is buy her some fancy baubles, break her off and tell her that she gives him something wifey never could--that real. Wifey is too prissy but the ride or die is down for whatever. She'll be the one flushing his stash and putting money on his books if he has to sit down for a dime or two because he knows the "good woman" he has at home thinks to highly of herself to get involved in that sort of depravity. If wifey knew about the uglier details of his lifestyle he would surely lose her and that is something he would never allow to happen. Just as much as these hoes want to hold on to that "good man" no matter what they have to endure, that no good nigga will jump through the same hoops to keep that "good woman" he's been neglecting at home.

So the moral of this profane story is that some cats will not waste an opportunity to mold any woman who seems malleable. If permitted he will shape you into the form of one who will accept just about anything and demand next to nothing. Essentially this will make it easier for him to run over your compromising ass while still being able to keep you in line. I may not know too much about "relationships" but it seems to me that a "good man" wouldn't even want you to stoop that low...

It's cool though if you didn't dig the message. If too many of you hoes changed, I wouldn't be able to enjoy Maury nearly as much as I do now...