Oh How You Feminists Kill Me...

Wait... ain't I one of those, too?


Yeah, I guess I am but I'm not of the cookie-cutter sort who would have all blame placed on the man and the machine for everything that's wrong with us emotionally fragile female types.

"It's the male ego driven media that makes us so confused and inadequate."

"It's all those commercials and TV shows and videos that make us hate our bodies and binge on cookies and cakes."

"It's Megan Fox and Paris Hilton's faults for being so damn skinny and so damn naked all the time."

Get the fuck over it, love. I understand that these images can be quite pervasive and a strain on one's self image but come the fuck on! Ladies, when will we just decide to be whatever it is that we are and be happy with that? Would I go to bat for Kim Kardashian as a model example of womanly pride? Hell no! That's not because she's sexy in public though. It's because her life bears no importance on anything whatsoever. If her daddy wasn't rich she'd be a high-priced stripper at Club Cheetah somewhere shaking her goods for money. I would, however, question anybody who blames this bitch for whatever poor self-image they would happen to be victims of. I'd be willing to bet that she didn't come to any of you bitches' houses and say, "You ain't shit cause you ain't me." All you women who DO feel that way have only your own fragile psyches to lament for feeding into the hype. Yes. Most men would LOVE to fuck her but guess what? 99.9% of their starstruck asses will not be allowed the pleasure. They will move on and so should you... you deeply embittered bitch.


Anyway... the catalyst for that rant you just endured was provided by this here article:


http://www.newsweek.com/content/newsweek/2011/01/26/disney-princesses-and-the-battle-for-your-daughter-s-soul.html


This authoress (and I'm guessing full-on feminist) whose work was the subject of the article has written a couple books about the struggles of our young girls insofar as their successful psychological development amid so much importance being placed on their outer appearance by our male driven society. This is truly an important issue that should be seriously considered when it comes to what we values we nurture in our little girls, BUT (and that's a big but) there is a line to be drawn. The article here is about her book concerning the obsession little girls are encouraged to have with princesses. From what I read her book was basically yielded of her own experiences in raising her daughter. This woman (Peggy Orenstein) appeared to be determined to raise a non-gendered little girl--not having an identity that could be categorized as being overtly male or female as far as any traits specified by societal norms and typical gender roles. When she sent her off to school, Peggy thought she had her little overall wearing baby down pat. She found later that this was not so. Little Baby Orenstein began to reject her grayness and went deep into the pink end of the gender spectrum.


Now no disrespect Peggs, but if your little girl has been playing with Leggos and building blocks since she was two and all of a sudden when she finally gets around other little girls she's geeked out for Barbies and fluffy pink dresses, maybe that's who she really is in spite of your efforts to sway her. Maybe she's just trying something new... or maybe she's just a lemming who will do whatever everybody else is doing. Don't blame Disney for pushing their Cinderella, Snow White, Princess Jasmine, etc. extra hard. Don't blame Miley Cyrus for being irresponsible and morally adrift in a sea of teenage excess. Don't blame men for being the basely sexual and immature animals that they are. I pray to GOD I don't have daughters but if I do, Lord, one thing I will make SURE to teach her is to KNOW HER OWN MIND. Yes it's one thing to experiment with this and that but don't run blindly behind everybody else hoping that they'll know what's best. Cause one thing about it and two things for certain... they do not lil' mama.


I find that too many girls (who grow up to be women with the same tendencies) are rather eager to emulate what their peers are doing. "You like Justin Bieber? OMG I LOOOOOOOVE JUSTIN BIEBER TOO!" And when they're adults: "You have a Gucci bag? I LOVE GUCCI!" Often I think the problem is not that we as women are so enraptured by what we consume through the media but that many of us are too readily influenced by our social circles. We are taught from a young age that we should be more than happy to be just like all the other little girls in our class. We should always get along with each other. We should all always be super best friends and if not the best of friends then the best of frenemies. Sure you hate that bitch but only because she has something that you hope to get and you just may have it by tolerating her selfishness and vanity. Borrow her Jimmy Choo pumps but defame her in every way as soon as she walks out of the room. Fuck her man while she's away visiting family but text her every hour on the hour to tell her how much you miss her and joke about how raggedy your other frenemy looked today at work. "I hope she don't plan on coming out to the club with ME lookin' like THAT. LOL" Smiley face. Smiley face. I hate you bitch.


THIS MUST STOP.


So for all those little girls out there who have been swept up in fantasies of glorious galas, bulbous ball gowns and spontaneous declarations of undying love and devotion, understand that the clock will strike midnight sooner than you calculated. Very few will cater to the whims of a delusional grown woman who believes she's a pretty princess still waiting in vain for a prince that may not necessarily exist... at least not in the form she would have him. You can't go to work on your birthday with a pretty little tiara on and expect for all the commoners of the village to shower you with gestures of adoration. You can't go on a job interview and will that your fairy godmother magically grant you your wish of gainful employment. You can't go to the ball in your baddest designer get-up and expect suitors to fall helplessly at your feet forsaking the company of all other woman present just because you have a certain "magical quality" about you that they do not. Little princesses are not so forever. They grow old and if they're lucky, self-reliant as well.


Anyway... back to my point. I appreciate ALL feminists and their efforts to illuminate the plight of the female sex the world over. I also appreciate that the patriarchal society in which we live promotes many ideals that would "diminish" the inherent fortitude of womanhood so that they may reinforce their own fragile male egos. I can dig it. I really can... BUT there comes a point when we have to look at OURSELVES and see where WE have failed our own womanhood. There is quite a bit of hype swirling about all our minds, but it is not required that we feed into it. I'm guilty of it myself which is how I know this does indeed occur. Every now and then when I watch a Trey Songz video I say, "Damn I wish I was built like that brizzle..." but I snap the fuck out of it. I don't live in that place. I live in a reality where I know my worth as a woman OUTSIDE of my physical charms (which actually ain't half bad if I say so myself). The only way to be above all the propaganda and lies is not to place blame upon them but to change how we react and adapt to the illusions. It isn't easy sifting through all the images of waifs and bombshells to find the truth, but for our own sanity's sake it must be done.


Just a thought. From one feminist to another...

Facebook Status | Epic Fail

Once again the irresistible, balls-out allure of the Facebook status brings a "higher-up" down to earth.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41238375/ns/local_news-new_orleans_la/

The offender this hour happens to be an officer of the court in my home town. If you failed to access the link above because you already know I'm gonna make it WAY more entertaining anyway, this is what you should have known by now: Child support hearing officer, Bill Dunckleman after presiding over (the now disgruntled and complainant) Larry Luther's case in his court, posted this status on his Facebook page

"Just had a fellow leave child support court. He works as a bouncer and has twenty-three children! Of course he gets paid cash and thus pays no taxes. I think he needs another job as he has way too much time on his hands! What do you think?"

Barring the fact that this was the dumbest thing you could do as a Parish official and that he's at least 50 years-old so his fool ass should know better than to play Facebook games... does the man not make a damn good point? I would imagine that self-venerated Senor Luther wouldn't even WANT to come forward because quite frankly he oughtta not have time to do so with 23 chillun. Oh wait... that's why yo ass is in child support court ain't it? Because you don't have to really deal with em directly, just most imminently. I'm surprised he can even keep count! I feel like the issue here isn't that he felt his rights as a citizen were violated, because seriously, sir, if you got 23 kids you have a slew of baby mamas on Facebook who have booked you PLENTY worse and DEM'OHS most likely didn't have the decency to keep your name out of it.

How bout we just keep it real "Larry Luther" (two first names)? Just hustler to playa, between you and me. First of all, you feel played that this white man with authority got the one-up on ya. It would piss me off too if my judge and jury had the nerve to sprinkle even more salt on my self-inflicted wounds. Second of all, you just want to raise a stink in the hopes that you can run Terrebonne Parish through the ringer and make yourself some duty-free scrilla to help you feed some of them hungry mouths'a yern. If you hop up on that lump sum you can shut up some of those baby mamas and maybe even find yourself a brand new one.

If any of you think I'm being judgemental, please answer me this: If YOU had 23 chillun wouldn't YOU want to come up as fast as you could? I'd do ANYTHING to shut up that many baby mamas. I'd even sob uncontrollably on WDSU just to make sure they feel my sorry little plight. I'd sell that shit like I was one of Jerry's Kids. I might even go Antoine Dobson on 'em: "Block ya Facebook! Block ya Twitter AND ya MySpace cause I'm suin' E'ERBODY out'cha! Now run n'status DAT homeboy!" I would be an overnight YouTube sensation. "Dig Johnny Cochran up cause I'm going IN on Terrebonne Parish like it was L.A. in 1995!" Oh yes. They would feel me...

But on the strength though bruh... wrap up your salami before you hang it out. PLEASE. Not for you or that misguided woman or girl who would gladly let you raw dog her. Do it for that child who you could spare a life of government assistance, neglect and embitterment by being just a little more responsible in the moment.

To close I understand that when it comes to social networking many of us take it too far. Hell, I do it everyday and have gotten to be very good at it. The point is you gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away and when to run... Okay that's not the point but here it is: Just shut the fuck up when you know you have something serious to lose by opening your mouth... OR your Facebook profile.

On Censorship...

For the greater part of my existence I have been leading the life of a circumstantial chameleon. I have excelled in the art of social adaptation by becoming a different person according to my surroundings. When in the company of the general public I'm outspoken and unapologetic. With more familiar company I am equally fiery just with a lighter heart and a calmer spirit. With my family (namely my mother)... the brizzle most of you know that doesn't really give a fuck about what she says, is much more reserved and measured with her words. I'm not a fan of that particular shade of Deanna, nor am I proud of her, but this is what I must do. It would be disrespectful to be as brash and crude in the presence of my "elders", so out of respect and a need for peace in my environment, I have maintained a subdued persona for the duration of my stay with them.

While I have been successful in my shape-shifting in the quiet of these suburban walls, I have found that when venturing beyond them I'm still not safe from the judgement within. In coming face to face with that reality after running from it for upwards of 25 years, I have collided with the conclusion that the real Deanna will find me wherever I may lay. She found me this morning at approximately 7:03AM when my mother came in my room to scold me for being "an angry, bitter, vulgar, ignorant racist" after Googling me and stumbling upon my unlocked Twitter page. (Yes, my mother Googled me, my sister and her niece and nephew.) As for her assertions I'd be lying if I didn't say I had my objections to them. Vulgar? I'll most def take that charge. Ignorant? I guess we all are on our own terms, so who am I to escape the remark? Angry? Yes. Quite and violent too. Bitter? Don't even know how that's supposed to feel really so I can't claim it. Racist? Naw. Not really. Especially since her characterization comes from the fact that I used the word "nigga" in quite general terms with no direction at any particular party, I think she may have missed the mark on that one.

Nonetheless, she is entitled to her opinions about me and my character--possibly more so than anyone else. I just hope she realizes that when I leave the next time, whatever Deanna she has come to know will be gone for good. I enjoy being me too much to have to hide it from anybody, even moms. She may not like Deanna but I love every drop of that bitch. I love all the political incorrectness, the drinkin', the cussin', the "Ya'll niggas don't have to fuck wit me cause I'm one deep" outlook, the idiosyncratic feminism, the hard-partying, the hard-working, the big dreaming, the bluntness, the crassness, the verbosity, the vivacity, the tenacity, the bawdiness, the cynicism, the loyalty, the intensity, the impulse, the good, the bad and the ugly.

And bitch I betcha you ain't neva seen another one like it...